thou shalt set me free

2005-08-24T03:37:00.000-07:00

i`ve MOVED

re-link me.
comment when there.
thx (=

2005-08-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

wishlist. birthday not coming, but still.

1) stella mccartney perfume
2) siemens SL65
3) new pants
4) shopping spree
5) bag

will anyone pretty please get them for me )=. ok stupid qn.

2005-08-09T23:21:00.000-07:00

baby i`m back.

nice lake view, gorgeous fireworks, great company.
National Day has never been so wonderful before.

2005-08-03T00:33:00.000-07:00

bahhhhhhh. in sch lib now. boringggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

some people are just so INCONSIDERATE

2005-08-01T19:12:00.000-07:00

GOODBYE
I NEVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN
GOODBYE
I DONT WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND
SO LONG
NOW WE'VE REACHED THE END
TIME FOR ME TO TURN THAT BEND
WHEN TIME HAS RUN AWAY
AND THERES NO NEED FOR ME TO STAY
AND LOSE MYSELF TO YOU
AND BE ABUSED BY YOU
I DONT NEED THE PAIN
FROM YOUR MIND GAMES
IF YOU TRY THEM AGAIN
I WONT BE THERE FOR THEM TO WORK ANYMORE

2005-07-31T06:35:00.000-07:00

credits to samm
more to be uploaded

oh yes, dr vivian balakrishnan is cute. haha.

2005-07-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

i`m blessed (:

2005-07-30T04:55:00.000-07:00

homecoming was pretty okayyy. the thing which made it ok was the people there, mainly the people IN the bands. yes. boring boring event. i think it was not really properly organised. i have to give credits to chuan hui, charlene and all because we can really see their effort. but i dont know what to say abt the student councillors. they're like so dead. seriously. they should actually liven up the place. but in the end we end up doing all that ourselves. the bands were fantabulouslygreat. yeah. why? because we're performing for ourselves! the most fantastic audience are the people from other bands. there's Hadi's band, Harold's and Zam's and mine. oh yea, and not forgetting samm and grace too. and henry! yeaaa. was a blast! although i really think the other people wasted a whole shitload of $12 just to sit in the hall and play card games. goodness. these people dont know how to let their hair down and parteyyyyyy!

for now, i`m not exactly in the mood to talk much. lost so many things already. and also so many people who are rude and unappreciative. oh yea, if any of u have the pictures for today's event, feel free to send to me pls? thanks. will post up pictures once i`m done receiving. for now, i`m off to sleep. only managed to catch a few hours of sleep last night trying to do voice control which failed miserably and also to memorize the lyrics. heh. ok lah.

i still cannot get over the fact that the performance was over. finito. oh god. all those days worth of practise done within an eye blink.

p/s: thank you sooooo much to the people who sang the 'you make me wanna LALA' part. i`d be so so screwed without you guys. and thanks for moshing too! although i dont think its a suitable song, i dont think u guys care anyway. haha.

and ohhhh, they didnt have jam and hop. screwed up plans. do they expect people to dance away to abba? goodness, we want rnb or techno!!!!

2005-07-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

feeling uber hyper today. yeappppp!

1) jam and hop was uber boring! its for international students. so many mamas. seriously. adibah would just freak if she was there. and they were dancing sooooo bangra-ish. so so hilarious. me edwin and iylia were so tickled.
2) jamming today was ok. yeah. i mean, for the first time, i enjoyed it. (=
3) i passed my CSA.
4) i think i can sing. although definitely not lala and fall to pieces.
5) its just a happy day!

2005-07-29T04:51:00.000-07:00

we're ready to kick ass tomorrow.

ok, we're not really that ready.

OK, i`m not ready!

so gonna make a fool of myself.

2005-07-28T07:19:00.000-07:00

dont we all just hate boys who are so commitmentphobic? when they want a relationship, they're as sweet as candy, and when they got you, they mistreat you and there's no appreciation there. this cycle is happening to everyone. and its making me sick. seriously. do guys really think so highly of themselves, that they are so superior? they can treat girls like some kind of play toy? why commit in the first place and back off from it in the end?

and then again, when i`m not okay. when i`m feeling crap thanks to the unbearable pain from my cramps. i have to a) call him back after joey; b) put down the phone when lost started. so much for being special. i think the television deserves that title more. heh

i`m just not in the mood for anything. feeling utter crapness. oh gee, tell me something new, wont you?

and oh, furthermore, its awkward. i want to shoot myself right now. the whole point of me being friends is to a) keep him close to me; b) so tt things wont be awkward; c)so that i will feel his existance and wont cry every night. but oh well, i dont see a difference. i am a victim of mind games. i compromise only to hurt myself. i give in to be abused by you.

dont mind my oh-so-crappy post. i hope not to blame it on PMS. why? cos i think its the stupidest reason. but in times of desperation, when you have noone else to blame, suddenly PMS has a totally different light.

2005-07-28T00:59:00.000-07:00

my heart just broke hearing her cries. i could almost feel myself relieving those moments. and it just tore me apart.

here are just some stuffs i tried to do after going through that faze. hopefully it`ll be useful for you
1. take a break from everything. family, friends, school and him.
2. read a book.
3. feel yourself through songs. (i`m with you/fall to pieces by avril or shake it off by mariah carey would be a good choice)
4. spend time praying and speaking to God.
5. dont feel.

hurts me so so much to hear you like this. its just like one part of me is already dead and another part of me is dying.

2005-07-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

extracts from 'la tortura'

We only learn from mistakes
And today I know my heart is yours

Oh my love, it hurts so much
It hurts so much
That you no longer trust my promises
Oh my love, losing you has been torture

I know I haven't been a saint
And I'm not made of stone

We only learn from our mistakes
And today I know my heart is yours

Listen, baby, don't you go
Listen, baby, don't get angry
From Monday to Friday you have my love
Give Saturday to me and you'll be better off
Listen baby, don't punish me anymore
Without you, out there I have no peace
I'm just a repentant person
I'm the bird that returns to its nest

Oh after all I've done for you
It was such a torture to lose you
It hurts me so that it's like this
Keep on crying sorry

2005-07-25T23:44:00.000-07:00

i finally realised that i am actually so busy. yes. i keep denying the fact that i am busy. why? because i want to make time for the things that would make me happy. like going out with friends and just relaxing. let me see what i have to do.

1)Drama every night from 6-9 for a performance at SHM.
2)Projects(nuff said)
3)Telephone Skills test tmr
4)Lcomm and LSM ORAL PRESENTATION. taking up a lot lot of time and effort.
5)2 books to read and return. (both are equally thick, mind you!)
6)and lots of other things not allowed to share

short list, i know. but imagine the intensity of each of them. i`m just so in a mess today. lopsided hair, heavy bag!, and file,Econs lecture notes, ECONS BOOK and story book in ONE HAND. oh gosh. its so not me. i'm never busy. not even during exam period. but i kind of like it. its a whole new world now. i`m in MY own world. no distractions(although it gets me really BORED!) just afraid i might just stress myself out. especially with the character in drama. goodness.

will probably receive my legal comm results tmr. basically for statutory reading and case reading. not very confident. just hoping to pass. although a pass is not good enough. got back my principles of management yest. was shocked with the results. expected to get low. cos the day before i went for IOC. heh. so yes, bullshitting your way through the exam would be a good advice esp when you're completely blank abt the topic. heh. ok dont take any advice from me

still feeling empty. hear the little voice in me scream for attention. for your attention. have to be patient. very patient. hopefully i can pull through all this strongly. even though i am at my weakest now. i want you. but you will only end up hurting me. why? because you will never treat me like you did. hopes will just be abiding the law of gravity. so why do i want you? one word, love. will go through all this for you. but for how long? how long am i gonna suffer? how long will it end, finally? how long will you then show me the real meaning of love?

how long, i dont know. i will only be here. waiting like a puppy. waiting to be adopted. waiting to find the happiness i long for. waiting to be the one to make someone's day again. how much longer will i remain stray? it would only depend on how much you love and long for me. i will not know the exact time. i need you but at the same time i`m just hurt by the way you treat me. i am numb. i guess its better this way. when i dont feel. tell me. how long? life is selfish. people are selfish. you will never actually find someone who would give you their brand new doll and take your ragged doll, with a smile.

'i love you and i promise'

when i`m down, i cannot rely on people to cheer me up. either they dont know what to say or they dont know what i`m going through. sadly, the people who know what to say, refuses to say it. the people who knows what i`m going through are ignoring it. life is really something to ponder upon. it will never be easy for you. they say what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. in my opinion, what kills you makes you stronger. heh. go figure. in times like this, u only have yourself to bring you up to your feets. and this means telling being what others arent. if people are not saying what you want them to say, tell yourself that. i tell myself everyday things are gonna be ok. is it really gonna be ok? i do not know the answer to that for sure. yes, i`m lying to myself. but i`m desperate. noone's there.

and to those of you who love my cat, here are some pics i took of her.

she looks so innocent. just like an angel

oooh aaaah. warm water.

give it a little shake

all drenched.

2005-07-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

OH. I JUST REALISED THAT 'SHE' IS SINGLE. HEH.

reading his testimonials just wants me to hang myself.

and, i counted. i gave him about 20 testimonials. and he gave me 17, including the ones i never accepted.

memories,
hbsb

and i still can remember the time i sang to him at sp. and i`m gonna watch the cd he gave me for 1yr anni again on my laptop. haiz. bye.

2005-07-23T05:51:00.000-07:00

to you, this song is for you.

Going Crazy-Natalie
Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold
My life just hasn't been the same oh baby, no
When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go
I just broke down (down)

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice
Cause the feeling that I feel within
No other man would ever make me feel so right
Its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
But I'd rather have you here with me, right next to me
I miss the way you hold me tight

[Bridge]
I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

[Chorus 2x]
Thats right baby I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you baby

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you its been so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat
Every time we speak, I can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me
and you want me and
you miss me
And you love me
I'm your lady
I'll be around waiting for you
I'll put it down be the woman for you

I'm falling so deep for you so crazy over you
I`m calling, calling out to you what am I going to do?
It's true and no fronting
Its you and no other i can no longer go on without you
I'll just break down (down)

[Bridge]
I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

[Chorus 2x]
Thats right baby I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby

Oh, ohhh....
Crazy... ooo
lady..... ooo
lately.... ooo
Baby...

________________________________________________________

not myself lately. i just feel so dead. so empty inside. numbness. dont expect me to pretend i`m ok anymore. pretend that i`m fine. pretend my feelings. i dont know how u managed to do it but i guess ur so much a better actor than me. hurt. emptyness.

what does love really means? --(deleted my comments due to its inappropriate content and it is likely to hurt people)--

it really confuses me how love can cause you so much pain. so many empty promises. making the person who you thought you'd be with for the rest of your life a cold, heartless and insensitive person. why? because we all have our selfish needs. and there are just people who cant compromise. and i`m ashamed to say i`m one of those people. i might be headstrong but i could not bear the pain of hearing my loved one crying, in pain.

i just lost it all. my self-esteem, motivation. but worst of all, i lost you. i am now like a frozen fry. numb. hard. love now has a new meaning to me. i am not a believer anymore.

if you see me helpless along the streets, would u a)help me up and let me see the beauty of it all again, or b)would u just cross over me and continue your own journey? actions speaks so much louder than words. u might say a. but through your actions, its b.

i`m just confused. my mind is blank. i am just too mentally exhausted. the whole 'trying to be professional' thing is draining me out, to the extent that i feel i might be faking it.

gosh. i dont know why i`m typing all this. i should be shot dead.

dont be fooled with my smile. see through me. i dare you to feel me.

2005-07-22T02:44:00.001-07:00

leave me alone. as if its not easy for you. heh. life is just a roller coaster.

i dread jamming tmr. will not, never open myself up to people who dont fucken care.

Because of you
I forgot the smart ways to lie
Because of you
I’m running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party’s over
We will still belong to each other
I love you more than all that’s on the planet
Movin’ talkin’ walkin’ breathing
You know it’s true
Oh baby it’s so funny
You almost don’t believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence
Lamps are hanging from the ceiling
Like a lady to her good manners
I’m tied up to this feeling

2005-07-21T23:48:00.000-07:00

I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

Oh why is everything so confusing
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you
______________________________________________

when i thought u complete me, u shattered me all over again.

2005-07-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can't live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don't pay no attention to me
I got a disease

2005-07-19T08:57:00.000-07:00

haha got that from yazid. look at em boys. with their neat hair. and freakily innocent faces. secondary school times aye?

the girls were equally kental too. look at madah. hahaha. she's so gonna kill me (=

the trip to subordinate court was fantastic. although not really wad i really really wanted. just little bit of this and that. the people looked good though in those formal wear. i look so selekeh. the judges not bad looking also. always thought of them as old men awaiting death. wanted to stay longer but lazy ah.

2005-07-18T06:23:00.000-07:00

oh fuck. my saved messages. the pictures i took today with my blue top and yest's baybeats.

2005-07-18T05:34:00.000-07:00

its all gone. memories. contacts. my whole life down the drain thanks to one selfish singaporean. life sucks with theifs around. cant stop crying. so so hurt.

my hp's gone. anything just sms my house phone. curfew would be 11. thx. leave ur name.

...

2005-07-17T00:08:00.000-07:00

emotions rushing in me.

suddenly, i`m numb.

2005-07-16T04:44:00.000-07:00

not in the mood. at all.

a.l.o.n.e.

and ooh, my dad would rather i step over his dead body than to let me sleepover at a girl's place to do project. heh. funny how he contradicts wad he says about wanting me to be successful and passing and blahblah. failing a project is like seeing yourself doing it again next year. heh.

fuckit.

and jaisee, have fun clubbing.

and aji's gf is super nice. they make the best couple. so good in lying.

2005-07-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

i cannot stand it anymore. i need to sleep. so desperately. but i have to finish this before i forget. yesh. came to school late for CSA meeting. but i didnt even do anything for the project. feel really really bad. had drama. yeah. yadayada. same thing. had to act out invisible woman. no clue about the fantastic four.

major transformation.

basically fantastic four is crap. yeah. very kental. not even nice. such a waste. seriously. very surface level.

oh god. today is the day when everyone/thing just chooses to fail on me. seriously. firstly, its the computer lab. its reserved and we only knew abt it when we;re halfway doing the project. secondly, its my knowledge of f4, hence my inability to bring out the invisible woman's character. thirdly, its the stupid sole of the shoe which chose the most perfect timing to fail on me. perfect. couldnt get any better. seriously. and forthly, the stupid escalator. terrible enough that my shoes are KILLING ME and the pressure on the sole from walking and now, going down the escalator, is not really helping. ooooh. ): worst part was when i had to actually RUN for the bus cos i was really too tired to wait. and hAd to walk all the way to get myself food. with my shoes. bleah.

too upset about everything to even enjoy my tom yam cup noodle. or even finish it.

well at least i have new shades. and a bracelet which looks like bicycle's chain which doesnt even belong to me. heh.

andddd HAPPY BIRTHDAY to adibah. was the first to msg her and so-called 'remind' her of her bday. *beams proudly* oh well, smile your way through the year, love (:

ok, wads with me and the whole 'love'? must be drama. and shayhar. hmmmm

i miss nur. she's such a sweetheart to give me Legal systems n methods notes. no wonder she's a sweet in her past life. grrrrr.

to adz, thanks so so so much for the home-baked cookies (: loving it.

Hey
Talk to me
Don't play me with your silence
Whisper it in my mouth

2005-07-14T19:19:00.000-07:00

ok, these are my choices for cross-disciplinary subjects:
1)French
2)World Affairs
3)Psychology
4)20th Century Fashion
5)Sociology

actually thought of Japanese but thought not. yeah. anyways drama's been good. yeah. bonded with em people. they're really really nice people. yes. after drama went for dinner at techno and played pool with em. yeaaaaaaa. in school now. supposed to be going for 2nd day of drama AND doing my CSA project. but i`m here blogging. dont seem to have time these days. for the first time, my schedule is packed. (: but i dont like it. no free time for myself. bleah. wondering when my results will be out. hmmmmm.

2005-07-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

FIRSTLY, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO IYLIA AND FAYYADH. (:

pictures.

2005-07-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

oh no. i can just feel myself tensing up. with all the deadlines approaching. and assignments to do which i dont even know about till today. oh god. i feel stressed knowing i have all these to do and yet, i`m sitting here blogging away. and mind you, its not like as if i can click with my groupies. somehow been having problems with CSA group. and also my LCS+LSM group. didnt attend meeting twice because i didnt know about it. i feel bad. yes. i dont like the pressure of deadlines. and the fact that i`m at home. doing absolutely nothing about it. sheesh-ness.

i realised that i am definitely not well-liked by many. maybe its my 'mulut takder licence'? but apparently when i asked adibah n nur, they said that i`m not like that. not to sabs level. haiz. like what nur said, i cant please everybody. so i should start minding my own business and just stop trying to please these people when all they're gonna do is just shoot back at me and make me feel crap. i can fairly say that law students are the rudest bunch of people. yes, they are not tactful at all. they only care about getting things off their chest. whether it will hurt others or not, personally, they dont really care. and it applies to all. be it obviously or not.

i know i am a very sensitive person. your stupid remark can bring me down to tears. so what in the world makes u think that i would actually tell someone off so directly without being tactful and being so insensitive to his/her feelings? those people who know me better would know i am not that type. and even the new people i met in poly would see that in me. that i dont actually react violently to hurtful/stupid comments and yet choose to keep it to myself. but apparently u guys took it for granted. i kept it to myself, i bottle myself up. and ur just pushing your limits. let the bottle break? i dont think u want that.

call me a hypocrite for all i care. everyone is a hypocrite in their own ways. you think being a hypocrite is a bad thing but being blunt, tactless, direct and insensitive isnt? at least hypocrites are far better than you because they actually think and bother about your feelings. although i dont see the point anyway since you're obviously someone with no feelings.

oh crap. i`m just not feeling too good. i kept this to myself for far too long. and i think from now on, i would start avoiding people. yes. nurul the 'social butterfly' gonna avoid people. people, in this case refers to those who are insensitive.

and the you i used does not refer to anyone. particualarly sab. i know u ppl would think its her but its not, honest.

met naza today. she made my day. she lightens all my burden. she's there for me. and for that fact, i appreciate her so much. love u girl.

and to adi n nur, i really wanna thank u guys for the listening ear. i trust u guys not to tell it to anyone else. love u girls too.

and please do me a favour? tell me if i am too direct, blunt, insensitive, rude and all. i need to know the extent of my contradiction in this entry. thx

2005-07-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

oh gosh, let me start the post by saying this.

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY IBRAHIM!

i feel crap. seriously. how could i forget? goodness. and its belated also. i wasnt in track of the dates these days. forgive me?

dont u just hate it when u write a nice long entry and the computer chooses to fail u right at the moment. no, u cant even copy it to a notepad. the IE just shuts down itself. i hate that. a lot.

came to rao's place for a girls day in. yeah. head hurts a lot.me and mada ran for bus17 across the empty road. so dramatic. hahahahaha.

so not in the mood to blog right now. bleahhh! stupid comp. dont blame me, blame the screwed up comp.

oh yea, dad got me a surprise (: this book, not sold in singapore, or anywhere in the matter. only distributed among the SPF. yeah. about murder and homocide. naza darling would be interested ;)

oh, my girl did well for her orals. soo so proud of her. *mwaaaaaahs!*

ugh, debates tomorrow. so not interested anymore. why? because of the terrible waiting part for each training. i am not a fine example of a patient person.

ok, now lemme address the lovely taggers:-
skye-yes, its your face! hahahaha, kental! (:
faseha-abeh merajokkkk? hahaha, u know i still love u dear.
ash-hahaha, its from my camera phone. the one u posing at esp. hahaha. its nice lah!
ifahhh*-chubby meh? hahaha, nice guess! hahaha, but incorrect though. hahaha. (:

contemplating on whether to post pictures. heh, but if u guys do wanna see pictures tell me ok? (:
-WARNING-
pictures might not necessarily be pretty.

2005-07-11T00:19:00.000-07:00

I'm a woman, lord knows it's hard
I need a real man to give me what I need
Sweet attention, love and tenderness
When it's real it's unconditional, I'm telling y'all

[Chorus:]
Cause a man, just ain't a man,
If he aint' man enough
To love you when you're right,
Love you when you're wrong
Love you when you're weak,
Love you when you're strong
Take you higher
When the world got you feelin low.
He's given you his last, cuz he's thinking of you first
Given comfort when you're thinking that you're hurt
That's what's done when you really love someone
I'm telling y'all, I'm telling y'all.
Cause you're a real man and lord knows it's hard
Sometimes you just need a woman's touch
Sweet affection, love and support
When it's real, it's unconditional, I'm telling y'all

[Chorus:]

Oh cause a woman ain't a woman if she ain't woman enough
To love you when you're right
Love you when you're wrong
Love you when you're weak,
Love you when you're strong
Take you higher
When the world got you feelin low.
She's giving you her best, even when you're at your worst
Givin comfort, when she's thinking that you're hurt
That's what's done, when you really love someone
I'm telling y'all

2005-07-10T07:59:00.000-07:00

okiess, firstly i wanna address the lovely taggers.

shameen-send me a pic of u through my email okiess? (:
kiki-yeah. she's damn hot. i likeeeeeee!
narissa-send me a pic of u ok darling? ur fster pic all small2
lynny-hahahaha, hop hop hop.. gone?
raodah-den u send me okiieeeeeee?!!!?!!
dahliaputri-yes, hot hot hot alllll the way. so kental, i know.
sha-got link wad!!!!! hrhr

ooookies, i`m done. to those people who dont see their links there anymore, so so sorry. i dont have ur pics. yeah. hmm, send me asap okiess? well and for those who's faces are up there but they dont like it, (like raodah) send me another pic. (:

today, hmm, jam. yeap. i guess that wraps up my day. a 3letter word. hahahaha. oh yes. jammed in the dark. marvelous! perfecto! (((:

2005-07-09T04:14:00.000-07:00

noone knows how to pamper herself better than me (: and the first step to doing it all is to get enough beauty sleep. ok, as for my case, i got more than enough. i practically hibernated. heh. woke up and slept again. just feeling lazy u know.

this is one of those boring saturdays which i absolutely have no plans. yes, i lead a totally boring life. i have no friends, boyfriend. noone to keep me company. i just have an annoyingly skinny yet lazy cat.

i think, i envy couples. oh god. i thought i could never say this. but yeah, i do. i envy those really ugly looking couples who find pleasure in taking obsessively disgusting pictures of themselves. but i think they look ugly enough for me not to envy them anymore. yeap. scratch that. i dont envy them anymore. fickle minded. i know.

i resent being called a bimbo. and the word dumb infront of it doesnt help either. dumb bimbo. gosh. give me a gun, will you? i shouldnt take it too hard. because it was probably meant as a joke.

and i thought i would never say this. but i think friendster is crap. wana know why? read my friendster blog. heh.

and i would want to think seriously what i would want to do and give myself point for it. kind of like in primary school where u have to do some stuffs and give urselves a few points and finally u get a badge or something? heh, i`m gonna do that. why? cos i want to occupy myself so i wont have to think about my projects.

and the first thing to that list is to befriend somebody i dont like. that's gonna be difficult.

i have a fetish for _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (space)_ _ _.
submit your guesses?

2005-07-08T04:01:00.000-07:00

You're cruel device
Your blood like ice
One look could kill
My pain your thrill

I wanna love you but I better not touch
I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I wanna kiss you but I want it too much
I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison

Your poison running through my veins
Your poison
I don't wanna break these chains

Your mouth so hot
Your web I'm caught
Your skin so wet
Black lace on sweat

I hear you calling and it's needles and pins
I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
Don't wanna touch you but you're under my skin
I wanna kiss you but your lips are venomous poison
Your poison running through my veins

___________

TERM TEST IS OVER BABY! okieeee, let me get to the bad part first. den the gooood (:

hmm, woke up really late today. came to school around one plus. which is really late since i ususally come 2-3 hrs b4 the paper to do my 'revision' trust me. that 2-3 hrs is my only study period. luckily ashwin was there to give me a whole recap on the case. MY HERO! seriously. i read the case again n again but couldnt understand. thats the thing i like abt indian guys. they simplify it and give it from an understandable point of view. heh. they're smart. grrr. so yesh, was pretty much ok until i saw the qn paper. was diff but i thought it was ok till i read the qns. i thought it was ok until i HAD TO FIND FOR THE STUFFS IN THE CASE. oh god. so many latin terms. i felt like an alien. so, one hr, short short time. couldnt finish the paper. left most of it uncompleted. yeah. so so so so sucky. ):

ate, tm. OHHH! NEW TOP (: LOVE IT. (: THANKS IM!

one thing i love about talking to my fellow law students is that they are very wise, and knowledgeable. seriously. and they are so updated about the current affairs. esp shekha! so yeah, had lunch and talked about a really really really really sensitive topic. religion. it was difficult, or at least in my opinion, to talk about christianity and all since there was a devout christian there among us. but jc, being a straight arrow, was being a blunt ass. heh. but in a good way. so yeah. i think he can be some philosopher. seriously. or some religious advisor, although he's a free-thinker, he knows a LOT. possibly more than my knowledge on the history of islam. heh.

my head hurts soooo bad. :( i feel terrible though, although i try to hide it. cant deny the fact that i screwed my term test. goodbye DWM. goodbye NUS law school. goodbye SCHOLARSHIPS. goodbye to my DREAMS. hello to being a paralegal? oh god, no.

i find human beings such interesting speciments. seriously. they try to understand others when they dont understand themselves. and this applies to me too.

2005-07-07T05:56:00.000-07:00

PARIS HILTON IS HOT. ((: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER.

DIA later on. fantastic (= tomorrow would be my LAST day of term test! weeeeet! still have yet to read the cases.

got my comments thingie there. please post ur comments regarding the posts. the taggieboard would be for irrelevant stuffs. (: sooooo yea!

stupid post but i just cant help it. (:

SMILEEEEEEE!

2005-07-07T00:27:00.000-07:00

sitting here in the library. numbness.screwed up my principles of management paper. couldnt believe i actually thought i could get away without studying. the after-effect of it sucks. killing the intelligent part of me. so yea, i`m screwed. not evenm confident of getting a two digit out of 40marks.

my eyes hurt. like hell. cant open it properly.

blogs are just things that u might want to watch out for. they can be a tool to express urself. but then again, they are also personal. ~~like when J.B.jayaratnam got sued by LKY, he found out all of that poor man's terrible past details and used it against him.~~ so yes, be careful of what u do, what u say. cos its all coming back to you. karma? heh. sadly i dont believe in it.

is it possible to love someone yet not be in love? confusing.

i feel so fugly right now. yes. guess the meaning and u'll get it. the only thing i`m happy about is my dark red painted nails. my first ever DIY manicure. so proud of it. but have to get rid of it by tmr i guess. oh well.

OIC was a blast. loved it. the atmosphere. the foreigners, so many people. so many diff character. so many crazy whacks. ooh, becks was hot. hahahaha. i think it was a fantastic day. with great company, like shayhar n shahirah, adibah(who left!). slacked ard esp and talked, a lot. yeah. 'hot' was my word for the day.

oooh! FCUK having a sale! 70% off. got a shirt at a steal! shahirah says it looks really expensive. wahahaha. ok.

back to today. i`m not ok. i`m hurt.

i dare you to love me.

2005-07-05T08:11:00.000-07:00

aaah, interesting. so miss'photogenic'-ithinki'mcute-dontmesswithme has finally met her match, like her fster caption, her own mirror image. haha. ok, thats crap.

i dont think i wanna talk about econs. nobody would be interested.

i`m just amused how badly people want to portray themselves for a first impression. seriously. just get some hot chocolate, some aromatheraphy, on the computer and go to friendster. heh. read it. seriously amusing. me adi nur and shekha, jc and the whole list can just sit there and laugh. funny how the world works. and the best part is that the people who dont brag about themselves get a better first impression.

plans postponed. again.

oh yea, anyone wanna make out with me on the pool table? heh, sounds sexy.

2005-07-04T06:20:00.000-07:00

econs tomorrow. i`m screwed. seriously. heh.
GYM tomorrow. and den start my last minute mugging. prolly stress myself out

2005-07-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

s.tres.s

i`m gonna boycott the computer soon. one day. tmr? oh god i`ll just die without it. help!

2005-07-03T00:05:00.000-07:00

Grooving to: Brighter than Sunshine (Aqualung)

decided to change the layout cos i pretty much got sick of the black ashlee layout. yeah. finished downloading macromedia dreamweaver. so i can do my CSA poroject using that. and i could also create my own layout there, heh, no big deal though. why squeeze out all your brain juices when u can get cool layouts from blogskins? and u can modify it a bit here and there and call it yours. heh. how originality works. oh well, my term test is next week. first paper would be microecons. heh. not really prepared though. been really distracted lately. with cramps, screwed up plans and dunno what else. heh. sour nurul. just wanna get the term test over and done with. need help from ibrahim. heh. and also my cousin for econs. bleahhh.

hmm, had a good 2full hour study with naza. oh god, out of 24 hours, i managed to do only 2hrs. thought of stayin till late but she has to meet khalil. so yea. and out of the 2 hrs, only managed to do 3 weeks of lecture, 3 more weeks to go. oh goodness, noone wants to go out with me to study. gosh. adibah and nur cant make it ): need help man. i mean, i need company. someone who i can clarify with there and then. heh. so yea, no mood to go out and study. prolly gonna study at home. hopefully, someone will ask me out *hinthint*. haiz. i`m totally obsessed with the show 'a lot like love'. definitely my favourite. ashton looks good with short hair. aaahahahaha. and amanda peet has really gorgeous lips and nose.

oh yea, this layout is a lil troublesome isnt it? the main section is kind of like really small. hahahaha, so u poor bloghoppers have to scroll and squint ur way through. oh dont worry, ill change soon. i jus needed a change for a while. yeah.

there are people in my class who i can consider real friends. people who would listen and feel your pain, share ur burden. and just people to bitch around and have fun with. yeah. thanks u guys, esp to nur shayhar adibah gynn jaiseelan ruz max pearlynn and a whole list of em. heh.

oh yeah! have i told u guys? i totally hate friendster's new layout. i still prefer the previous one with the colours. heh. sickooooooooo, nice2 den still wanna change. oh yea, to zafir, happy belated birthday! although i doubt u even go to my blog. heh. wth.

aaaa, random nurul. so typical. dont blame me, blame the weather. and also my screwed up plans.heh.

hopefully pictures can lighten up the air around here.

2005-07-01T08:52:00.000-07:00

i will not tolerate you any longer. seriously. you've tested my patience. i have tried. and even when i completely lost it, i am still trying. war? i`m far more mature that that. i will not stoop to as low as your level to get back at you. its not worth it to get stressed and worked up because of someone who doesn't even mean anything much to me. period. we are not friends. we have never been friends. our relationship is a professional level. other than that, stay away from me. seriously.

2005-06-30T06:42:00.000-07:00

i love this

absolutely <3 my black widow

same notebook

she's bloody hot

she wrote that in HER notebook (:

feets

2005-06-30T04:05:00.000-07:00

sharifah harirah is mine! i`m gonna be the subject for her photography! so exciting (: mwaaaah! thanks babe for hanging with me in school. yeah. and for showing me the oh-so-cool dark room, fot treating me the 'black widow' at norgan-vaaz. fantastic. just throw really nice choc, ice-cream, baked rice, pizza and sprinkle sharifah hazirah at the top, u get a fantastic date. pretty pretty girl. notebook, sisters? heh. mwaaaaahs. <3

pictures up next. i`m now at school actually. hahaha. at the legalab.

2005-06-29T06:43:00.000-07:00

ooookiesh. let me summarise the happenings on my birthday. school as per normal. and coincidentally it was mrs goh's birthday too. my first tutorial's tutor. what a coincidence right? heh, so my class sang a birthday song when i came in, right on cue, but it was for mrs goh. how embarrassing! after econs, met raodah. went on to meet the almost complete grp of nuwai, madah, fas, aisyah, yati, wadah. took neoprints and yeah, was squeezy. very. watched 'a lot like love' with imran. thats when he surprised me with the esprit sweater i really really wanted. so sweet rightttt! the movie was fantabulous. seriously. really touching for the hopeless romantics like myself. heh. after movie with imran, and receiving my first present at abt 7.10pm, met up with naza, iylia and syed. went to some void deck and had cake from sweet secrets. cheesecake. got more gifts. heh. but the day had to end. awwww. yeah, thanks to everyone for the well wishes, the list would be too long to mention names, but really appreciate it people, love u guys to bits. and to netti, i`m soo so sorry dear, i didnt know u guys had a cake for me, i could have met u guys and all. so sorry )=.

legal comm was a pain in the as.s. seriouslyyy. term test is next week and i barely know shit about principles of management. met aishah, she gave me a present too (= thanks sis. nowwww, pictures (:

me and naza, with the cake

grp pic

a rather silly picture, but wth

and me in the library. sempat. wahahaha

2005-06-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

happy seventeen birthday princess! (= oh yes, i`m talking to myself.

"Look, its 5.25am! And that means 17 years ago, it was your first time breathing the air around you, crying and screaming on top of your lungs figuring out where you are and the people around you are. Now look in the mirror to see how much you've grown. You are this fine, extravagant, young, beautiful wonderwoman, all grown up and shaped into this special person with a big heart. Smile, scream, shout, let loose, be free cls its time to celebrate. Cheer up, its a wonderful day. You are a year older and you should feel special. Forget others cos this days belongs to you, only you. And it comes once a year. See, the more reasons you should be happy. Anyway i hope you will enjoy and cheirshb you days while you're 17. I w2ish you dear, success in the things you do. Stay beautiful, smart, sexy, warm, special and healthy always. God bless. Happy Seventeenth Birthday sweetheart! i love you =>
"

2005-06-26T06:21:00.000-07:00

respect is definitely something hard to get. everyone demands respect. but do u get it? oh well, how the hell do u expect or demand for respect when ur not giving it in the first place. the world doesnt kiss the floor u walk on. it takes two to clap. hence, i wonder, what's the respect i`m getting from people when i was someone's gf? of course, i cannot go around demanding for respect since there's no connection anymore. like, when u want to ask someone out, have the most basic respect for his/her gf/bf by asking if they're ok. and this does not neccessarily apply to going out ONLY. it applies to even sharing personal/private stuffs.for example, u dont expect me to tell stuffs to fayyadh and den leave wadah out. be it abt ur personal life, your bgr, ur family or whatever. if i were to do that, it would simply mean i`m dismissing the fact that fayyadh is wadah's bf and hence, no respect. so now, i`m not asking much. just give me the basic respect that i deserve. period.

and i dont know how to LIKE someone who throws me dirty glances and stuffs like that. seriously, TELL ME. enlighten me. am i supposed to try and like someone who's just too bitchy to start with? i`d rather keep my distance. if u dont want to hear it, scam. stop defending her. stop telling ME to stop. ur pushing my buttons one by one. like what you said, like the rubber band, stretch me too far and i`ll snap. and it will hurt. trust me.

some people just dont know me well enough. and sadly, its the people closest to me. heh. i guess u shouldnt expect too much from these people and you should just look forward to letting others get to know you. and hopefully, u will find someone who will understand, respect, and tolerate u.

oh weeee, nurul being snappy? heh. dont u fucking push me

2005-06-25T23:53:00.001-07:00

hellooooo! (= okiess lemme wrap up the happenings. yesterday had some hot debates exhibition with this university in serawak. yeah. the first motion was to allow pornographic material in libraries. the place is in malaysia. the second motion was 'sex kills romance'. supposed to be a humor motion. yeah. halfway through the second debate, i rushed home because my dear princess was waiting for me under my void deck. poor thang.

when i reached home, in my room she just popped me one qn which made me think she lost all her nuts. heh. she said 'eh nurul, potongkan rambut aku'. goodness, so i did. to snip it off, i was so scared i screwed up her hair. oh god. i could see how much trust she put me with her precious curly hair. took abt less than an hour. had to trim and layer it a lil but had no time. hahaha. she went out of my room and showed my dad her hair with a thumbs up. goodness. she's one brave girl. hahahaha. hair all over my floor.

her mom asked to join them for a family dinner at restu. i was kind of reluctant since it was a family dinner but got more relaxed when her sis brought her bf, hisyam brought his gf and that firdaus brought some gay-fixears.com-mat skudai-scrambler riding guy who has a terrible sense of humor. goodness. the food was fantabulous.seriously. black pepper crab, black pepper beef, chop choy,baby kailan in oyster sause, crispy squid, lemon chicken and sooo much more i cant even remember. seriously. thanks so much to naza's parents for the wonderful dinner. (=

off home. yeap.

as for today, woke up late. so much for tryna wake up early. cleaned my room. not so clean but better than before. naza's gonna come over to get the trim done. yeap. tired. and still have lots more to do for tmr.

after a few snips

at the end.

at restu.

crazy people!

2005-06-24T08:46:00.000-07:00

time, i need. love, i feel. forgiveness, i do not seek. words spoken are words meant. only my cookie monster understands how i feel.

i dont know why you have to find fault in everything i say. even when your argument is different from mine. i bet u enjoy the fact that your friends are mocking me. saying stuffs like 'no wonder she's in law', 'case close' and stuffs like that. oh please, excuse me for feeling like this. i`ll only forget when u hear me out, with a proper apology. am i asking too much? if it is, then u can live with this nurul. cold as ice. but of course, u wouldnt let your guards down. ur such a man in your own ways. bleah. i`ll sleep soundly tonight. i`m sure u will too. i`m such a sour milk. oh dont blame me. blame the air around me.

i guess my only happy moment today was the gossip session with adibah and shekha at the mocha shop. heh. other than that, my 'sex pills'. heh. and maybe the expression on JC's face when i sang to him that avril song. haha.

hmm, i woke up late today. means principles of management lecture was gone. drama was not so fun. its just boring, in my opinion. heh. feeling all so sour. and of course, some girls have to give me the look just because they're jealous of me? heh, whateverrrrr! and al-kadir was so great! i could just die. had a GREAT DEBATE there. heh. and guess what, i just got an opinion from one of the top debaters there that i was actually improving! whopeedoo.

HEH. boys will always remain boys. egoistic. wont let their guards down in front of friends. always want to win without really thinking. hmm, and there will always be certain girls on the run for them. not neccessarily more than just a friend. oh yea, and suddenly girlfriends dont mean a thing anymore. i meant girls-girls.

snatch him from me and i swear i`ll chop your hair off, bite your ears and stick a carrot into your nose. just try me, damn it.

2005-06-24T00:02:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cos I'm in love with you

i am absolutely someone who has a strong mindset. if i think its wrong. its wrong. no point arguing with me about it. seriously. i just will NEVER give in. imran should know best. so all u bitches out there who want to mess with me, think again. seriously. dont under estimate me. i`m not as nice as i look. i am nothing u think i am. i`m far stronger than that.

i just get so pissed. seriously. i think no contact is better than any at all. not even fster profile, blog or whatever related to that. to add on to my stress being a freaking law student, mugging and doing endless research in the library(although i still love law), my terrible appetite, my lack of rest, endless quizzes and projects, notes and blahblahblah. i`m empty. emotionally. mentally. i feel hollow. but i will tell myself i am damn independent. i am damn well-off alone. i am damn fine by myself. its no biggie. well u know what, this is the first time i would be expressing my unhappiness, dont take to too hard. i am entitled to my say. its not anyone's fault but i still feel whatever i am feeling. but i am damn strong and can go through this. with support from friends, from classmates and from him. i guess that should make my life complete.

but feelings wont change. feelings cant change. feelings will never change. love is strong. love wont fade. love will stay.

2005-06-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

school has been a fun thing. although i can never get to class on time. how ironic. i live at tamp but still have to take a cab to school sometimes, yet classmates who live in yishun, sembawang and etc reach faster. heh. i think its just my mindset.

i think i have learnt to adapt to the new environment. thanks to my fantastic classmates who have made it feel so homely now to go to school. no more self-conscious feel. no more scared feeling to make mistakes. just a bunch of successful people in the future learning and growing with each other. and i love them for the fact that they were there for me even when i was at my weakest. thanks to people like nur, shekha, adibah, max, sabrinna, teresa,jaiseelan, ruz and plenty of others which i couldnt mention one by one. for giving me your support, your presence when i needed it the most. thank you guys muchos.

and also thanks to people like naza, yazid, iylia for their support and encouragement. i really appreciate it. and especially to my dearest baby naza for her sweet testimonial. i love u girl. (=

and to imran. thanks for everything. i mean it. i will love u always.

now, pictures for u people. its just me today. heh, feeling a little girlish. hehe. well, it was pearlyn's jacket which made me feel so ooooh. (=

rest assured, i am the record breaking '55mins late' for meeting girl. hahahaha. i think.

me and aliiiiiiiii.

my wonderful lcs teammates, they did all the job without me, how sweet of them (=

i wasnt much of a help for today's meeting so i didnt know wad was going on so i got bored and took pictures (= haha, i look hot. ^_^

i look so fierce >=

managed to get all comfy at the sofa during the 5mins break. hahahaha, still had time for a 2mins nap.

aaaah, posing (((((=

nothing is complete without a pic in the toilet (=

2005-06-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

my day yesterday was totally terrible. heh.

met huda for starbucks. talked and talked and all. actually i wasnt really in the mood. went for pool later with yazid and huda. and naza came. didnt have any plana so decided to go for eleazar's chalet at downtown. had to wait freaking long. and i, being nurul, am very impatient. and got pissed. dont mind my 'arrogance, rudeness, coldness' and blahblahblah. so people like harold, naza, and a whole shitload of others, my apologies. and also for making naza wait. heh. was in a position. and neither imran nor naza was making it any easier for me. oh well. the pressure of being in between the 2 bfs (boy and best). i`m sure naza would understand it perfectly well.

i`m being so sour today. i dont know why. perhaps because i saw 'her' again. goodness, why am i fated to be in the same school as her. i meant school, not campus. oh god. and she, being all up above, looked at me like i`m some pathetic doll and walked off. sorry to burst ur bubble b-fitch but ur not some model strutting on the stage. its school wtf gives a damn what others wear. bleah. these victims of fashion. heh.

i`ve had enough of all this nonsensical bullshit stuffs. seriously. i`m a tertiary student who has more than enough school work to deal with. and if thats not enough, there's project and ccas. and yes, if i could spare some bloody time to spend it with u i suggest u start bloody appreciating it because someday when i`ve lost it. u will bloody wish u never took it for granted.

fuck it.

2005-06-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

what have i gotten myself into? astarghfirullah. i`m not thinking. i`m not thinking. it didnt happen. it didnt happen. it never happened. i need to sleep it off. i need naza right now. if only she could understand. because i dont seem to understand myself.

2005-06-16T02:01:00.000-07:00

today is the first time ever that i woke up late for school. for economics tutorial to be precise. heh. so i had to go to the doctor to get an mc. got myself sleeping pills and some stuffs to stop the frequent migrains and headaches due to the climate/stress. oh well.

i`m here with naza at her crib. feeling a lil hungry and very sleepy. but yea, couldnt resist her sexy comp. its just soooo tempting. my handphone is not bringing me so much peace. absolutely hate it at this moment. ):

anddd, im really sleepy. did i mention tt? heh

ok. my entries are boring. seriously. i`ll write a long one which might be worth reading one day when i`m finally free. for now, i wanna take a nap later.

2005-06-13T05:03:00.000-07:00

this would be the, *thinks hard* 17time i`m listening to this song. and uncountable times where i would actually be singing it. i think by now, adibah, nur and shekha would be sick of it. heh.

I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things, crying
Trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
It ain't even half of what
I'm feeling inside
I need you
Need you back in my life, baby

only naza would understand how i feel. i think thats the thing with girlfriends. they feel you. they're not just some friend telling u that you're wrong and all despite your condition. my goodness, i definitely need a way to control my emotions. heh. its gonna drive me crazy. and definitely drive my friends away. thanks to my rudeness, bluntness, directness, and perhaps coldness. heh.

school is stressful ok. to people who think poly life is just another chicken feet, you're in for a treat. heh. and if ur in law, u better start getting on your hands and knees and get your stuffs done. heh. tomorrow will be the first practise for debates. yea. i think its pretty cool.

and dad's being a pain in the a.s.s.

2005-06-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

no mood to talk. i just hope the pictures can do the talking. heh.

2005-06-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

cos i`m leaaaving on a jetplaneee.
dont know when i`ll be back again.

i am officially STRESSED. law is a very taxing subject. oh well, at least i have fun fighting and all with my classmates. and i love the people who make my days complete. (= cant blog much. but please flood my tagboard people. =
now's the time has come to leave you.
one more time oh let me kiss u.

to the wonderful taggers:-
raodah:--sorry girl but i think u look very cute. seriously (=
yasmin:--yes, its perfect (= so long u never tag ah. (=
nuwai:--something wrong with ur comp ah! hahahaha.

2005-06-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

FLOORBALL.

i doubt i could get in because today was my FIRST training and COINCIDENTALLY it was the selections. oh man. soooo yucky ok. the girls there were friendly. especially the malays. and all. yeah. and they said i played well for someone with absolutely no experience. yea. BUT mr ngasti(dunno how to spell) said the selections would be based on today and also their previous trainings. mannn. i didnt come and i think i might lose out. and when he asked me if i played fball before i said 'no'. i just cant lie. ughhhh.

wish me luck?

2005-06-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

i feeeeeel good. tadadadada.

okieeee, let me first start the very late entry for tonight by saying aisyah a HAPPY 13MINS BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!! SMOOOOOOCH. LOVE U LOTSA GIRL. (= <3

okiess, met naza today immidiately after school and rushed to BISHAN. goodness, i have never in my whole entire life been there. yeah. took the train to bishan. had some catching up and all (= was all good. yeapppp
*nurul is all smiles!*

hmmm, was pretty much lost while trying to find our way to Raffles JC. yeah. had a looooooong walk there. up hill, down hill. yeahhh. we came like wayyyy early because i was told it starts at 7 but it starts at 8. heh. so we walked around junction 8. yeaaaaaa. was sooo embarassing to be at rjc. i feel so stupid. was so uncomfy there only naza to make ourselves comfy. den suddenly we saw ADIBAHHH! woooohooo. she was there with her fren. yeah. finally a relief.

the play was very very good. i like it lotsa. its like a malay play. titled 'DWIDARMA'. hilarious i might add. with a little touch of the 'senario' or 'theatre komedi' type. i didnt expect adz to be a good actor. and a dancer. heh. hmmmm, annnnd i got to sit a row behind alami musa. THE ALAMI MUSA. wooooot. he was with his wifey. front row was pretty much vacant. hahaha.

hmm, i went home with naza dearie. lovey her soooooo much. and i miss all the laughing and giggling. definitely made my day. and the drama play. the funny part of it made my day too. and not forgetting i met imran at the MRT, coincidentally. wow. hahahahaa. what a day. (= its a good one i must add.

i`m gonna upload some pictures for your viewing pleasure. yeah. annnnnd, i had a fantasticbulouslygreat day. (= did i mention that?

this is me yesterday at Singapore Polytechnic. i know i look buruk but bear with me.

in the toilet in school. i`m obsessed with reflections. hrhr

this was the first thing we did after we found the school. take picture. haha

getting comfyyyyy

can't sit still! excited. hrhr

we are happy.

but we're tired toooo )=

having fun with the mrt window reflection

still havin fun.

the expensive looking stage set. impressive.

p/s: i`ll be going for floorball tomorrow. gosh. sounds weird right?
pp/s: imran looks hot in the new shirt. bau kedai ahh!

2005-06-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

oook

i`m in school right now.at the bsc lab. yeah. ohhh. i still have time to blog and all. later i`m gonna be having CSA which is very boring. feel like skipping. ughhhhh. i skipped my PRINCIPLES OF MANAGEMENT lecture halfway because i totally do not understand and i was sleepy and i feel so messed up. cos i woke up late and i still feel rushed. first time skipping a lecture. with an exception to the CSA lecture this week cause i was locked at home. i feel uber guilty. but much more relaxed and collected compared to this morning. yeahhhh

andddddd. i need more green tea. )= anyone who's taking principles of management can please teach me?

OOOOH, and i watched madagascar for the 2nd time yest. first one was the 4.40pm show and the 9.40pm show. but if u've watched it before, the 2nd time would be boring. yeahhhhh. k lahhh. wanna sleep.

2005-06-02T05:50:00.000-07:00

ok, my dad was NOT really that terrible until the ending part. let me just sum it up. school was ok, had mr ferlin for legal systems and methods. goodness, he's like fun and strict at the same time. he really entertained the hell out of me. and i bet if raodah sees him, she'll go completely crazy. hahaha. he's like a mr bakar but shorter and not as boncet. hrhr. hmm, den went to Singapore Polytechnic to meet imran and eat the black pepper chicken rice. Back to tamp to watch MADAGASCAR. it was fantastic i tell u. seriously. i got stomach ache laughing soooo hard.

I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT x2

yeah. i`m not really in a good mood. came home feeling uber moody and all. kept thinking of lots of stuffs which are really bothering me. but i`m not gonna list any because i think some stuffs are better left unsaid.

i think being in law has changed me. has changed my mindset. my perspective. my views and certainly my way of speaking. in a way, i`ve learnt to be more frank, direct and i see from every point of view i could. i am more of a listener than a talker. and i think tooo much. at every moment i am not talking. seriously.

which makes me ponder about something called a 'ground' rule during some tutorials. its about respecting and not critisizing other people's opinion. let me say that from now on, i want to practise that. so if u people have anything to say, or talk about or just to share and have some 'intellectual' stuffs about religion, politics and stuffs. i`ll be here. i need to broaden my knowledge and get more in touch with current politics. but at the same time although i know i`m sensitive and a small lil thing can set me to tears, i hope u guys will respect my opinions as well.

school has been good so far. i enjoy and understand. thats the whole beauty of it. i`m really considering touch rugby for a CCA since some girl who talked to me in the mrt told me. and coincidentally, she's in drama(the cca i joined) and also in law and management. yeah. the dramatec will be doing moulin rouge. that will be like uber cool. yeah

haiz. i`m just soooo haywire these days. the only way to make me sane again is shopping or starbucks. but the thing is that i keep getting stuffs for myself but i still feel the same. maybe its the feeling of 'emptyness'. only god knows how i feel.

AND I`LL BE OUT WITH NAZA TOMORROW FOR THE RJC DRAMA PLAY. I CANT WAIT. (=

and imran thanks for the fantabulous day

2005-06-02T05:28:00.000-07:00

i am not in a good mood so dont come near or i`ll bite.

2005-06-01T05:20:00.000-07:00

oh well, with poly, there comes new environment, new stuffs, and new friends. here are some of my CLASSMATES. yeah.

this is adibah, she speaks really really really good kick-ass english

this is gynn. she kicks ass too.

but of course, just because i got new friends, it doesnt mean i ditch my old friends. because one thing i know is loyalty. and another thing i know is that they were the ones who were there for me when i am at my worst during the 4 years of secondary school life. fortunately i got to meet the girls today at tm. coincidende. yeah.

one table. one voice. one love.

she provides a listening ear and she listens with patience.

she has the sweetest innocence that any girl would ever wish for. she's an angel.

and i know i have an angel protecting me from up above the way she holds me tight.

although we used to have grudges, she taught me that love grows even between the opposites, which is one of the few reasons i love her.

fun, joy and laughter. thats all faseha is about. she lifts up your mood even during your dullest days.

a friend made is a friendship for life.

this babe watched me grow and she's still watching.

my source of motivation and inspiration. my driving force to expand my potential.

she is all of the above mentioned. and probably one of the best thing that has happened to me

he treats me like a real princess by putting me before himself.

my life would be more into my studies now. and i hope my friends could understand. if there's anything you could not accept do voice it out to me. i dont wish to hurt anyone's feelings. we might drift away from time to time. but i will always hold u guys dearly in my heart, and this also goes to huda, ain, aisha, bahriah etc. i apologise for any mistakes i did in the past. i hope it would be forgiven. and i hope to turn over a new leaf. a new life. a more pleasant and carefree one. because i know, in the end, i will still remain by myself. but even for that reason, i still hold you guys dearly.

i will still be living in doubt. i will still be stuck with endless thoughts. not about myself but about my friends.

and i dont understand why i have to be this way when i know its not the same way. but i am sincere. i care and i do not expect anything back in return.

i reflect my life and happenings. and i will certainly not be able to be as carefree and cheery i wish to be. but i will try.